No Pain, No Gain? How to Soften the Blow of Painful Situations

No Pain, No Gain

You’ve heard the phrase, No Pain, No Gain.  And while what you call “pain” is a part of your human experience, how much it “hurts” and how you decide to use the pain is determined by your mindset.

Haven’t you seen people who have gone through extraordinary circumstances of physical or mental pain and not just survived, but thrived?  There are lots of stories and movies about such feats of “super humanness”.

What it comes down to, is mindset.  No Pain No Gain can be seen as a positive.

It’s about making a choice.  A choice to know they would experience pain.  They embraced the pain knowing it would lead them to something desired.

Experiencing pain is a way for your Authentic Self to help you determine what it is you DESIRE to have in your life.  Sometimes the way you choose what you want, is by knowing what you don’t want. 

Most people don’t want to experience pain, yet it helps you sort through your life as you Create Your Authentic Journey.

Mind Over Matter

This is another well used phrase which many people say, but really don’t know how to put into practice.  Your mind is truly incredible. You can create amazing things, climb mountains and soar to great heights with your mind-power.

However, many women have not been taught how to maximize their mind.  You were taught to “go along with what comes along”, rather than to create your own life.

Harnessing the power of your mind takes practice, just like any new task you learn. 

The three major components to become aware of are your thoughts, your emotions, and your words.  These three things make up your internal guidance system.  

When you understand how they work together, they can take you places you only dreamed of.  They can even change the way you think, feel and speak about Pain.

Thoughts Can Be Trained

Thoughts are the first part of your guidance system.

You have been trained to think about pain as something to fear, to avoid or to be angry about.  

How many movies, songs, books, and real life people talk about pain as a BAD THING?

When dealing with something painful, like a break up, you perceive the situation as “negative” and therefore experience PAIN… A lot of pain.  This is your guidance system saying you are “out of harmony” with your Authentic Self.

But what if you shifted your thinking to see the GOOD which comes out of the situation?  Your guidance system wants you to feel good.  The phrase is: No Pain, No Gain.

Some athletes are taught to EXPECT PAIN in their training and performance.  For those who are taught to expect pain, they are ready for when it comes.  They work through it and are able to keep their performance level high.

In contrast, athletes who are not taught to expect and work through pain are caught off guard when it comes.  They struggle to deal with the pain.  This impacts their performance by either slowing them down or causing them to stop altogether.

Training your mind to think positively about pain will benefit you most if you can do it BEFORE you are in the throes of PAIN.  But even if you are in the middle of a painful situation, you can begin to shift your thoughts to become more positive.

Emotions Follow Your Thoughts

Sometimes it feels as if your thoughts and your emotions are simultaneous.  As a matter of fact, they are so closely linked together they feel almost as one occurrence.  

When you think something negative, your emotions are right there to boost that thought into high gear with feelings which manifest both in your mind and your body. 

Women in particular are taught that your emotions are the responsibility of someone else.  How often do you say, “He makes me feel happy” or “She makes me so mad”.   You praise or blame others for how you feel.

By doing this, you give others the power to dictate how you feel.  You give up your ability to manage your feelings, and therefore lose part of your guidance system. 

In addition, when feeling pain from a negative thought perspective, you focus outside yourself.   As a result, this disconnects you from your Authentic Self.

It took me a long time to realize this.  Once I did, I deeply sensed my power and responsibility to take care of myself.  The word “Responsible” means you are “Response-Able”.  You can choose your response. 

Consequently, I stopped blaming others for my feelings which freed me from needing outside validation and acceptance.  Furthermore, I freed others from the burden of defining and molding me for their purposes.

Once I took responsibility for my pain, I could make the choice for how I managed it.  I was able to let go of my pain and no longer blame others for how I experienced it.

Words Speak Volumes

How you speak about something is the outward expression of your thoughts and your feelings. 

Yet, sometimes our words have become so ingrained to our experience, we continue to speak them, even as our thoughts and emotions are changing.

For this reason, as you are making your mind shifts to viewing pain as something positive, you may still hear yourself making negative comments about something painful.

Part of your Journey is to become aware of your words.  Once you become aware, then you can begin to shift.

I find myself re-phrasing things all the time.  Speaking in the “negative” has become the norm in society.

Many of my friends speak in the “negative” about what they don’t want, or how someone hurt them.  They complain about a great many things which are out of their control.

Arguably, your words are very powerful.  Thoughts and Emotions gather momentum within you and your words transmit these out into the world. 

Words keep you stuck in the negative loop with pain as you continue to recount the situation which “caused” the pain.  Talking about it over and over cements the pain into your experience.

Is this what you really want?  Does it feel good to say these words?  Are you tired of feeling bad?

Make a Decision

Your thoughts, emotions and words are yours, and yours alone.

The power is within YOU.  Take responsibility for yourself, and NO ONE ELSE.

Own your pain.  Decide how it will benefit you.  What will you learn from it?  How will you do things differently next time? 

Embrace Pain as a part of your life experience.  Know it will come.  Be prepared to work through it. 

Love it.  Yes, love your pain.  Accept it as a friend.  A friend who is not afraid to be real with you. 

The phrase No Pain, No Gain mean you get to choose both how you experience the pain, and what you gain from it.

Ultimately, you have a choice.

You ALWAYS have a choice.

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